WHY IS THIS?

[youngster775]

Why do we park in a driveway, and drive in a parkway???

Why do we ship cargo, and drive shipments???

why do we call them apartments when theyre all together???

  things that bother me........

[n10sive]

and George Carlin

[Rick Bay (BRA)]

You're getting crazy, Paul.

[trent]

Why are they called bucket seats when they dont hold water?
Why are asteroids, asteroids and hemoroids,hemoroids? Shouldnt it be the other way around?

[wills]

How do you "pre board" an airplane?

[whiskytango]

what the heck is a "wholenuther?"

[youngster775]

haha! I like where my post is going!

[A DRAGON]

I saw a pretty good bumper sticker today. It said. " Their are only 2 kinds of ship. Submarines and Targets."  I really got a kick out of that.

By the way how do you Debark on a Ship?   hummmm  maybe we could De Load or De-board.

[n10sive]

By the way how do you Debark on a Ship?   hummmm  maybe we could De Load or De-board.

Embark - 1 : to go on board a vehicle for transportation <the troops embarked at noon>

Hope you weren't thinking of trees LOL

[Justin]

disembark is the word he's looking for.

[99 900ss duc]

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why isn't 11 pronounced "onety-one"?

You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can't you be simply whelmed?

Shouldn't the opposite of shut up be shut down?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

How come there aren't B batteries?

If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards, would he end up owing you money?

Why is the word for "a fear of long words," hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, so long?


Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?


How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?

If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

If a husband dies, the wife is called a widow. If a child's parents die, the child is called an orphan. Why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?

Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

How do you remove a club soda stain?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?

Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

[99 900ss duc]

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Can you cry under water?

How is it that we put men on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you "in" a movie, but you're "on" TV?

Since bread is square, then why is most sandwich meat round?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in," but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"?

Why do we choose from just two people for President and 50 for Miss America?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up 10 times every hour?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why do thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?


Does a clean house indicate there's a broken computer in it?

Do cows have calf muscles?

If a funeral procession happens at night, should people drive with their lights off?

Shouldn't it be, "Some things in moderation"?

Why are builders afraid to have a thirteenth floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Aren't all generalizations false?

Why aren't there bullet-proof pants?

Sooner or later, doesn't everyone stop smoking?

Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why don't you ever see the headline Psychic Wins Lottery?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

How can the weather be "hot as hell" one day and "cold as hell" another?

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only get one?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbit's foot?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called "rush hour"?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"?

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

Would a part-time bandleader be considered a semi-conductor?

[99 900ss duc]

There's an ancient saying: "When questions arise, it's possible they've taken Viagra." All right, so maybe it isn't all that ancient.


Why do "slow up" and "slow down" mean the same thing?


Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free?

Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest complete sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest?

Are people more violently opposed to fur rather than leather because it's much easier to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs?

Why is a boxing ring square?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

Why do we sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" when we are already there?

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?

If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?

How do they get deer to cross at those yellow road signs?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Can an ambidextrous person make an off-handed remark?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Could it be that boulders are statues of big rocks?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell "mnemonic"?

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

Why do "tugboats" push?

Do bleached blondes pretend to have more fun?

If a man speaks, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Does anybody ever vanish with a trace?

How can "quite a lot" and "quite a few" mean the same thing?

If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

[99 900ss duc]

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?


Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called "builts"?

When you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Why do scientists call it research when looking for something new?

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them?

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

If the plural of tooth is "teeth," why isn't the plural of booth "beeth"?

How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

When an agnostic dies, does he go to the "great perhaps"?

Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages when it's just stale bread to begin with?

If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

Why do we recite at a play and play at a recital?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing nightgowns?

Why don't they call moustaches "mouthbrows"?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist


Why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up a project, I end it?

Why isn't "phonetic" spelled the way it sounds?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

When they ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

What's another word for "thesaurus"?

Why do skydivers wear helmets?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?

Why does your nose run and your feet smell?

What's the speed of dark?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

[99 900ss duc]

Whose cruel idea was it for "lisp" to have an "s" in it?


Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

If vampires can't see their own reflections, how is it that their hair is always so neat?

If convenience stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes"?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Phillip's Screwdriver?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Are there cemetery workers that don't work the graveyard shift?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

If nothing ever sticks to Teflon, how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?

Is there another word for "synonym"?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

Is animal shampoo tested on humans?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Should a mute be yelled at for talking with their hands full?

Should crematoriums give a discount to burn victims?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed Up?

Why are wrong numbers never busy?

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were drowning, and you could only save one, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

Can someone be a closet claustrophobic?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is it homeless or naked?

If you ate pasta and antipasta at the same time, would you still be hungry?

How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

Why do most countries have only one Monopolies Commission?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made from?

What could porn actors possibly do for fun during their time off?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?